Just received word that at about 2pm Mountain today, my brother-in-law Michael Lee Lovato passed away after a major battle with Cancer.  Mike has always defeated his foes, and I for one still consider him undefeated.  Cancer has been disqualified for cheating.

Mikey and My Sis

To my sister, Stephanie… I love you so much and will be with you soon.  To my nephew Stevie, you are a stud because of your mom and dad, and we will always be there for you.  To my niece Ashley, we’re there for you, too.

More reflection later.  Rest in Peace, Mikey.  For the first time in a long time, you’re free of health issues.

–RE

My stepson Spencer turns 18 next month.  Crazy.  He’s a pretty typical teenager, minus getting into a lot of trouble.  An atypical trait that Spencer posseses is his fear and hatred for roller coasters.  While I have always enjoyed roller coasters, the one my brother-in-law Mikey and my sister have been on is not a fun ride.  And our whole family has been along for the ride.

In January, if I recall the month correctly, Mike was diagnosed with cancer.  While this was not the beginning of the roller coaster (one could say it was much later in the ride as Mike had twice had to have kidney transplants), it was definitely the beginning of the biggest, fastest, curviest, scariest part of the ride.  Since his diagnosis, there have been a whole lot of downs and a few ups along the track.  Often, we feel as though there really isn’t a track.  Now, is one of those times.  Mike was proclaimed cancer free just a few months ago, and within two weeks of that, he was given a few days to live as more cancer…very aggressive cancer…took hold of his body.  Mike, being the champion fighter he is, defied all odds and doctors’ wisdom and got better.  Not cancer-free better, but better.  He put weight back on, started eating (and tasting food) again, regained his memory, and became the Mike of ‘ole.  Me and my OP family had feared a few months ago we would be heading to a funeral for Mike.  Now, we have a roadtrip scheduled next week to celebrate his 44th birthday.

Another drop on the roller coaster surfaced just a few days ago, and this one is steep.  Mike is now, once again, on his death bed.  While no new abnormalities show in his blood work, an infection has taken over his immune system-weak body; one that doctors don’t think antibiotics will help.  Mike refused to go to the hospital last night, and in-home hospice was arranged.  Just moments ago, my mother sent me one of the most horrible text messages I have ever received:

“He told us goodbye a while ago.  Said to tell everyone how much he loves them.  He doesn’t want to fight anymore.”

The doctors say he won’t last long, I am told.  He has defied them before.  Only God knows when Mike is going to go, but once the will to fight is gone, well, it probably won’t be long.  To go from thinking we would be celebrating a birthday with Mike (a miracle in itself) just a few days ago, to fearing I won’t ever see him again, is just mind boggling.  I want this coaster ride to end; but with Mike healthy and happy.

Michael truly is a hero to me.  He came into our lives long ago and became the father my niece Ashley needed and deserved.  He became the man who made my sister Stephanie truly happy for the first time in a long time.  He and my sister brought my 9 year-old nephew Stevie, a black belt, into this world.  He treated my wife and kids as good as he treats his own wife and kids.  He fights, fights, fights and overcomes all obstacles in his way.  He boasts about how much work he does, even sick, as compared to his coworkers.  He melted when he received an honorary black belt when Stevie earned his.   Mike is all things good, even when it seems only bad things happen.

Maybe Mike has given up on this battle; maybe he hasn’t.  Whichever it is, he is a champion and an inspiration.  I pray to God I will see him again, but I also pray to God to have mercy on him and my sister, nephew, niece, and entire family.

I love you Michael Lovato.  While I am not liking this roller coaster ride, we’re on it with you.  We got your back, just like you always have ours.

My response texts to my mother:

Oh my.  We love him, too.  Please thank him from me for being such a wonderful husband and father to my sister, Stevie and Ashley.  Please tell him that for me.  And for being a great uncle and brother-in-law.

Peace,

Relledge

I do not know what more to say about my brother-in-law Michael Lovato.  I do know this… I always knew he was a fighter.  What I guess I did not know is just how strong of a fighter he is.  After several days of being completely unresponsive, the last few, he has been all but that.  I was so amazed yesterday when I called my mom for an update.  She was at the hospital and actually put me on the phone with Mike–who talked to me!  I was so blown away that I didn’t say everything I wish I would have said, but I did tell him that I, along with my family (the OP Elledges), love him so much and are praying for him hourly.  He thanked me, and it was a joyous occasion.  Then today, I wake to the news that the doctors and nurses are amazed that he is where he is today, and they decided to resume treatment rather than just hospice care.  I do not know today if Mike will win the ultimate battle of his young life, but I am convinced more than ever he has a lot of fight left in him.  And based on his past, I would not  be surprised in the least bit if he doesn’t knock out his opponent, despite him being the underdgog.

Mike truly gives me a whole new perspective on life.   I sit here today, troubled with my own life events… but nothing compares to what Mike is going through.  And I know, if he can continue to fight the good fight, well hell, so can I.  And today, more than ever, I intend to.  If I learn nothing else from Mike, I learn that fighting to overcome hardships and obstacles ain’t no thing.  So I will.  And it WILL change my life.  He is fighting for life, and inspiring me to change mine.  I pray the outcome for both is a victory.  Don’t get me wrong at all… Mike’s fight is much more real and courageous than mine.  But I am going to model my remaining life, no matter how long that is, to be like his.

I continue to pray for Mike and my sister and family,  I pray for comfort and I pray for him to defeat this big, bully “Cancer”.  I know he can.  And I know my sister can remain strong.  And further, I know I can learn from them both, and change my life accordingly.

Love to and prayers for Mike, Stephanie, Stevie, and Ashely, along with the rest of my family….

–RElledge

My brother-in-law Michael Lovato is a fighter.  No other way to describe it.  Today, he lies in a hospital room in Casper, WY fighting cancer.  He has already fought and won two rounds of kidney transplants.  Mix in a courageous fight this year against cancer, which just some three weeks ago he was declared “cancer-free”.  Our entire family rejoiced that God had been with Mike and he had beaten the big C.  But now, in just the last week, a very progressive cancer has spread and taken over his body and mind.  The prognosis is grim.  I know if there is anyone who can beat it, it is Mike, but at this point, it looks like a heavenly intervention would be required.

Stevie, Mike, Grandpa, Stephanie and Ashley

My sister, Stephanie, is such a strong woman, or at least she shows herself to be.  I do not know how she remains so strong with all she and Mike have been through.  It is amazing, to say the least.  I am so proud of her for demonstrating such strength and courage in the face of adversity, but I know on the inside, she is weeping like the rest of us.  I’m sure she has her private moments where she let’s it out.  That is good…she needs to.  I know she is trying to be so strong for my nephew, Stephen, and my niece Ashley, both of whom are also showing amazing strength.  My thoughts and prayers are nearly exclusively with them all.

Mike entering our family over 12 years ago was truly a blessing for my sister and my niece.  Mike became the father figure Ashley so desperately needed and longed for.  While he is, on paper, only her step-father, it does not ever feel that way.  He loves Ashley as if she was his very own.  And Ashley needed that.  So did Stephanie.  Then, thanks to Mike, we were blessed with the addition of Stephen some 10 years ago.  What an awesome, strong young man he is.  I can only imagine what is going on in his head.  He absolutely idolizes his father (and rightfully so).  I know Stevie will be the same fighter Mike is, I just pray he doesn’t face a fraction of the battles his father has.  I hope his battles will be the fun kind, as he continues his pursuit of his black belt.

I feel helpless sitting here in Overland Park while my big sister is going through this; but that’s what she wants.  She told me on the phone she wants me to stay here–she doesn’t want me to remember Mike how he is right now.  She wants me to remember him as the champion fighter he has always been.  And I will, no doubt.  This is just another sign of how strong my sister is.  I want to be there for her, but she wants to be there exclusively for Mike.  I respect and understand that.

Cancer is the most hideous disease I can ever imagine.  It takes far too many people, far too soon.  I pray for the miracle that will allow Mike to win this fight.  He is definitely up against the ultimate opponent.  While the odds may be against him right now, I know that I, for one, don’t count him out.

Sending love to and prayers for Mike, Stephanie, Stevie and Ashley, along with the rest of my family,

–RElledge